When a divorce requires ongoing litigation, things can get tough for parents and their children. It is not just about the outcome of the divorce. The actual process of litigating can be emotionally draining and extremely stressful, not to mention expensive.
While some divorcing parents might be able to work through many important decisions on their own, it is not always feasible to divorce without some degree of court intervention. Still, if parents are actively engaged in finding solutions that fit their children’s needs for the foreseeable future, the overall outcome tends to be better for everyone. On the other hand, when parents are not engaging in the process or are not open to compromise and working out agreements together, the outcome of their divorce will likely be left to a judge.
A judge will take care to make determinations that uphold the best interest of the children involved, but they are obviously not going to be as intimately familiar with the family and the individual needs of each member as are those who are directly involved with the family like the parents themselves in many instances. That is why whenever possible, parents working together to reach agreements that uphold their children’s best interest and are favourable on both sides is a best-case scenario.
To get an idea of how divorce professionals approach their work, we asked several to reflect on their approach to family law as well as discuss how they utilise technological resources, like co-parenting apps, to help prevent their clients from engaging in excessive, ongoing litigation.
A contentious court process that ends in an unfavourable outcome for one or both parents can increase the chances of conflict escalating post-decree. This presents a challenge for legal professionals who seek to help their clients land on sustainable solutions as early in the process as possible.
‘It is crucial that parents find reasonable solutions to avoid court so that they can make decisions and not the judge,’ explained Michael Aaron, a judge pro tem, lawyer, and mediator in Arizona. ‘With the right effort, parents can avoid starting a process of polarization.’
Other practitioners also handle their work with clients with this intention. As lawyer, facilitator, mediator, and coach Rocky Pilgrim described her approach, ‘I try to provide solutions that will help them stay out of court in the future instead of escalating a conflict that will continue to colour their interactions for years to come.’
‘I think that all family lawyers can agree that the separation itself is less harmful to the child, but it is actually the conflict between the parents afterwards that can be most harmful,’ said Antonia Felix, a family lawyer in London. ‘I think a lot of our clients think at the time once they get through this, it will all be fine. But we all know that with particularly young children, they will have a huge period ahead where they are going to be co-parents together.’
Conflict escalating during or after a divorce is finalised can have more than just emotional repercussions on a family. The financial burden of ongoing litigation can also be a huge challenge to overcome. The cost of hiring private legal representation alone can be a hefty expense for some and potentially lead to trade-offs with other costs.
The total price of litigation often includes more than just legal fees, however. For example, there are costs associated with taking time off from work and finding childcare to be able to attend hearings and other related proceedings. The loss of income from taking just a few hours off from work can add even more stress to this already complex situation. If litigation must continue longer than was anticipated, some may have trouble keeping up with their ongoing legal fees, which could greatly impact the outcome of their case.
All in all, family law practitioners want their clients to end their legal proceedings feeling content with the results, and many recognise escalated conflict and ongoing costs as real problems that can stand in the way of a client’s overall satisfaction. In response, many practitioners seek to help clients navigate the divorce process mindfully so they can achieve results that are satisfying today and have real solutions that serve them and their children into the future.
‘I want to empower my clients to build effective, cooperative, and child-focused parenting relationships,’ explained Amber Serwat, an alternative dispute resolution (ADR) professional from Minnesota. ‘My goal is to teach my clients new ways to interact for the benefit of their children, to reduce conflict and insulate children from its effect and reduce litigation,’
Even if communication between parents will remain uneasy for some time, many professionals see technology today as having the power to play an important role in helping them build new ways of interacting and handling future decisions without the need for ongoing legal intervention.
Parents who end their court process with a clear blueprint for handling communication and negotiating decisions may be less likely to return to court down the line. The key is finding a viable solution that supports an ongoing connection between parents regarding all family matters even when professionals are not involved.
In these situations, many professionals turn parents to technology that can help them stay connected in regards to their children, like a co-parenting app such as OurFamilyWizard. The OurFamilyWizard app includes features that help parents keep their communication well-documented and focused on their children. These features also provide frameworks for navigating day-to-day decisions on all kinds of child-focused matters.
Take coordinating schedules, for example. As Serwat explained when asked what is helpful about OurFamilyWizard for clients, ‘The calendar tool is very helpful in promoting information sharing, decreasing last-minute conflicts, documenting previously agreed upon swaps, and supporting long-term planning. It allows me to explore possible solutions for parents.
With the calendar on OurFamilyWizard, parents can do more than just make notes about events. It also facilitates tracking of parenting time and special holiday schedules and provides a tool built to simplify parenting time swap requests.
‘In my early years as a newly-qualified solicitor, I spent hours of my time putting together coloured schedules of where a child was going to go and handling day swaps,’ recalled Felix. ‘I think one of the great things about OurFamilyWizard is that all aspects of scheduling can all be put into one system. Parents can take responsibility for their own plans rather than falling back on their lawyers.’
Moreover, the OurFamilyWizard app keeps client information secure and accessible to their professionals, like lawyers and parenting coordinators, so that they may intervene promptly if ever necessary. With all communication between parents centralised into one place, it is easier for professionals to get a clear picture of what is going on.
This can be much harder to achieve when communication is handled through various other methods like email, texts, and instant messaging. These communication methods are often less secure and run a greater risk of being altered or fabricated. They can also be more difficult and time-consuming to compile into court-admissible reports.
Unlike with these other methods of communication, it is not possible to alter messages sent within OurFamilyWizard. Plus, parents can easily download accurate reports of their messaging and other entries anytime. This can save quite a bit of time, effort and money for parents by not having to forward their lawyer screenshots of texts or instant messages to manually build a timeline of communication on top of having to ensure the authenticity of each communication.
Realistically, even if parents seem to be managing day-to-day issues as they arise, professional intervention and litigation may still be necessary at times. This may be the case if one parent is facing a life-changing event, like remarriage or a move out of state, or if they run into an issue that they just cannot agree on between themselves.
Leveraging OurFamilyWizard’s free Professional Access, family law professionals are enabled to review client activity within the app and pull reports as often as necessary. This can be very helpful when a client has an issue that could require litigation.
As F. Susannah Collins, a lawyer from Florida, pointed out, ‘[OurFamilyWizard] has given me the opportunity to quickly review communications and postings between parents to either assist my clients’ claims and allegations or provide the necessary evidence to the Court to refute false allegations.’
Keeping parents from going back to court is still a priority for many practitioners, and some see OurFamilyWizard’s Professional Access as contributing to improving interactions between parents. ‘OurFamilyWizard encourages better communication because it promotes accountability. When parents know their communication is being tracked (and reviewed), they behave better—most of the time,’ commented Serwat.
Felix similarly recognises how clients may adjust their behaviour when communicating through OurFamilyWizard. ‘I think when parents send text messages, they may be more prone to reacting immediately, whereas when using OurFamilyWizard, just the fact that they are using an app which can be monitored can make a difference.’
Courts and family law practitioners strive to help families get through divorce litigation as smoothly and quickly as possible, but they also recognise that it is critical parents have the tools to uphold their agreements in the long term without continued professional intervention. The OurFamilyWizard app can provide parents with ample tools for navigating agreements to avoid future litigation and provide family law professionals with the access they require to assist clients in handling future issues swiftly and effectively.